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Embracing Self-Love: A Guide to Recognising Its Absence and Cultivating Its Presence


Self-love often remains elusive in our journey through life, yet it's a cornerstone of our wellbeing. Understanding self-love isn't just about embracing joyous moments and recognising when it's missing from our lives. This guide invites you on a transformative journey to identify the signs of a lack of self-love and discover practical ways to nurture it within yourself.

Part 1: Understanding the Lack of Self-Love

10 Signs of a Lack of Self-Love

  1. Perfectionism and Fear of Failure: Like a shadow, perfectionism lurks, often stemming from a fear of not being 'enough'. That voice tells you that you are failing unless everything is perfect.

  2. Avoidance of Self-Care: Ignoring personal needs, be it skipping meals or neglecting rest, is like denying sunshine to a plant.

  3. Tolerating Toxic Relationships: Enduring harmful relationships can be a sign of not valuing oneself highly enough to walk away.

  4. Difficulty Saying "No": Over-committing, often at the expense of personal wellbeing, is a classic symptom of prioritising others' needs over your own.

  5. Unfavourable Comparison: Unfavourable comparisons with others can erode your sense of self-worth.

  6. Constant Self-Criticism: When the inner critic takes centre stage, it often speaks volumes about one's relationship with oneself.

  7. Poor Boundaries: Difficulty setting healthy limits is akin to leaving the doors of your soul perpetually open to any.

  8. Excessive Need for Validation: Seeking constant approval from others is often a quest to compensate for internal uncertainties.

  9. Self-Sabotaging Behaviours: Actions that hinder rather than help one's progress often stem from an internalised belief of unworthiness.

  10. Persistent Feelings of Inadequacy: This is a pervasive sense of not being good enough, regardless of achievements.

Part 2: The Journey to Self-Love

8 Ways to Practice Self-Love

  1. Know Thyself: Embark on a journey of self-discovery. It's about understanding your likes, dislikes, and what truly brings you peace.

  2. Fish for Compliments: Learn to accept and cherish compliments. They are, after all, reflections of your light as seen by others.

  3. Build Self-Care Routines: Create rituals that nurture your body, mind, and soul. It's about prioritising your wellbeing.

  4. Prioritise Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the kindness you would offer a dear friend.

  5. Nurture Positive Self-Talk: Transform your inner dialogue to be more uplifting and supportive.

  6. Embrace Your Uniqueness: Celebrate what sets you apart. Your uniqueness is your gift to the world.

  7. Gratitude for Your Body: Appreciate the wonder that is your body, with all its capabilities and imperfections.

  8. Set and Enforce Healthy Boundaries: Learn to say no and mean it. It's about respecting and valuing your own space and energy.

Part 3: Self-Love vs. Self-Compassion

While self-love is about appreciating and valuing oneself, self-compassion involves being gentle and forgiving towards oneself. Both are interwoven threads in the fabric of our emotional wellbeing.

Part 4: The Transformative Power of Self-Love

Self-love is not an act of selfishness but an essential component of a healthy, balanced life. It's a journey that impacts our mental and physical health, changing how we interact with the world and ourselves.

Meditation Section

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Envision a light within you, growing with each breath. This light represents your love for yourself, warm and soothing. Let it fill you, reminding you of your worth, strengths, and beauty.


The path to self-love is uniquely yours. It's a journey of discovery, acceptance, and kindness towards oneself. Remember, in the words of Julian Jenkins, it's about transforming burdens into blessings and embracing every step of this journey.

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Perfect timing as I just gave myself some self-love by booking a solo cruise to Alaska


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